It's not that I don't care...

What is it that people (more specifically "those people") are drawn to about me? I mean like every time I go some place with other human beings I get dumped on by someone with their problems. From the bazaar Carrot Man of Baylor lore and the Goldfish Won't Look at Me Guy to people with legitimate problems always come to me. WHY?

Freakin A!

Okay, where is this coming from. 25 years of this. I think it's why I blog; people tell me their crap and I never get to tell them mine. I am going to illustrate the previous day as an example.

I had gotten home pretty late from going out with coworkers but still got up with the sunrise. Did some chores, and followed up on some correspondence - looked for other options of supplementing my still insufficient income all morning, got ready for the day, had lunch and headed out.

At Walmart I just needed make-up, but stood in line for an hour to buy it. while standing in line the lady in front of me talked about how "this is what they do - they build a super Walmart with 60 cashier's station but only open three of them" the entire time. No duh right, do I need to hear this every-time I go there. It's almost part of the shopping experience now, the old greeter, the crap selection, the crowded aisles, the long lines, the hour wait, and the Hoosier talking about how much the hate Walmart is all part of the Walmart experience.

I was standing in line at the shell station waiting to pay for coffee (just coffee) when the guy in line behind me started talking to me about how expensive things are these days, and how he can't even afford his cigarettes. I don't know what he wanted from me, or why he thought I would give a crap; Maybe it was just a floue. Did he want me to buy cigarettes for him or did he expect me to - uh 'cause no. If you can't afford something like cigarettes then you don't need them. Sandwiches are a different story. Anyway, by the time I got to the counter and paid the clerk (the one that looks like Eric Bana)

Then I went down to the 106 and everything was fine except for that one pervert that was there. Okay, he's a harmless pervert but still it's just like I'm not here to hear someone else's crap then literally as soon as the pervert left some random lesbian started talking about why her girlfriend is crazy. I don't know her or her girlfriend, and I didn't want to know the hour long story about how she got jealous 'cause you talked to some other girl she though you were trying to chise up.

That's the day in brief, it's much more to it than what is listed, and it's 25 years of days like this. Is there some sign over my head that I can't read, does it say free therapy? I just need a break, and a place to go where I don't have to hear about someone else's issues - I've got my own crap, and I need to relax to ya' know.

Maybe I'm just sick of people complaining when I'm workin' on my own issues.
I don't have the answers.
Maybe they're all so self centered they can't fathom talking about anything other than themselves and their lives are really that bad - or they lack the ability to work through their stuff so it happens and they kvetch about it for awhile then move on to the next issue. Maybe I'm just to nice to skief and bark voetsek. Sometimes I think they're chuffed to complain or gripe.

A late night with a Cremorian Fangor Beast,
Maddie

Currently watching: Galaxy Quest

P.S.
"Look I've got one job on this lousy ship; it's stupid, but I'm gonna do it!"

How to Turn a Day Around

Today was sort of a long day, to start it off I could not for the life of me get any more than one hour of sleep at a time - I kept waking up: I don't know if this was due to heat, that time, or even some sort of premonition about Monday that my subconscious was trying to warn me about.

The morning wasn't too hectic, but once I got to work: OOOOOOOOOOOO! Okay, so I like to leave work at the office whilst I am not there so I'm not going to go into any great detail over it, but it was busy, and on top of being busy there was an incident which shall be known henceforth as the Fiasco if Arrogant Disrespect.

The said Fiasco of Arrogant Disrespect set me back on productivity by about two hours, because someone somewhere along the lines dropped a ball down the well with Timmy.

Anyway, the point of this post is not the Fiasco of Arrogant Disrespect. The point is how to turn a day around.

This is how i did it:

Step one: Lunch of Taco salad comprised of crispy corn tortilla, onion, salsa, cucumber, tomato, and queso.

So, that got my spirits up a little bit - i guess i am a foodie at heart.

Step two: After work there followed a 45 minute run while listening to Florence & the Machine.

Step three: Dinner of two slices of thin-crust pizza with tomato, onion, and black olives. A Shiner Ruby Redbird for desert.

Magically, now I feel like today was okay.

Nobody gets a runner's high after 45 minutes,
Maddie

currently reading: Heather McGowan's "Duchess of Nothing"

P.S.
"The dog days are over. The dog days are done. Can you hear the horses? 'Cause here they come."

Spin-Off

In a brief moment of reflection today I decided to do spin-off from this blog.

Oh, I'll still post here, but I realized all I'm doing here is ranting about this or that or occasional waxing irrelevant over something inconsequential, and I've been writing songs and poems since I dunno how old - you'll have to ask my parents when I started 'cause it was so long ago I don't even remember.

Not that the songs or poems have any weight or substance, but still there's a lot of them so they will go here:

GirlMoonLyrics.blogspot.com

I figure if anything some of them will be good for a laugh.

Prosit.

Maddie

I am such a...

I am such a failure at keeping this thing updated!

I know right.

This blog should be about not keeping a blog, I mean most of my posts are about how I haven't updated in a long time. I've been busy. Busy with nothing really to talk about, but busy none-the-less, however this weekend I did get to do some of the things I've been meaning to do for a long time, and to top it all off I found out that I did indeed have time to blog as well. So, yup.

Starts off with actually being able to go out on Friday night, played some billiard games with some friends for about two hours then came on home. Friday at work a colleague put in an order for some Lime Thai Chili and some F&#* Sauce. Now the Lime Thai Chili is all ready ready all ready, but the F&#* Sauce is going to a little bit longer. Normally it takes about 6 months for that one, but I have a batch processing so it should be only about four. So I'm going to throw in a jar of the sweet pickled peppers from the last batch to see if they still want the hotter stuff.

Making the hot sauces has always been fun for me, and a nice stress reliever, I just have to remember to not touch my eyes and to wear gloves. My hands didn't stop burning until today no matter how many times I washed them. I think washing them actually made it worse. Of course reaching into a giant bowl and grabbing a handful of chopped up habenero bare-handed wasn't my most proud moment.

Also cleaned.

Then I cleaned again today.

Did some desperately needed laundry.

Cleaned again.

Went out of sushi, and saw a six year old eat a huge bite of Hamachi Sashimi without blinking then ask for more. For those of you who don't know: Hamachi is Yellowfin Tuna, and Sashimi would be most like raw sushi through not necessarily wrapped in seaweed and rice. Props to Dong Kim and Samurai Sushi. Thanks!

Then I put together a train set that Godzilla must have gotten a hold of.

Cleaned again, and did more laundry,

and now I am blogging.

Come to think of it I have not done everything I meant to do. I wanted to also ride my bike and do some yoga. Frick on a Stick. there's still time for yoga I think.

Right,
Maddie.

Currently hearing: Thelonious Monk - "Crepuscule with Nellie"
Currently reading: Bill Scheft's "Time Won't Let Me."

PS
"Do not throw phone through or out window."

No bombs, just bar.

I think I'm feeling a little bit better today, still haven't heard anything about the lab results yet, but of course it's still only Sunday. Slept most of yesterday and today, those pills are wiping me out. So, yeah did laundry and vegged.

Nothing really to talk about other than that, and forced blog entries never really do it for me.

Via con dios, muchachos,
Maddie

Currently watching: Big Trouble

Pretty funny with squirt gun games, hit men, Russian arms dealers, Dog food eating spitting toad, Rene Russo, Stanley Tucci, Tim Allen, Michael McShane, Tom Sizemore, Johnny Knoxville, Dennis Farina, Omar Epps, Jason Lee, andy richter, DJ Qualls, Sofia Vergara and two cops portrayed by Janeane Garofalo and Patrick Warburton, and a goat.

PS
"My guess is he's either going to whack 'em with a rolling pin or he's gonna bake 'em a cake. Could go either way with this crew."

Poked and prodded and tired

So, some of you may have noticed I haven't posted in a long time. I've come down with some sort of ailment. Not sure what it is yet, the medical peoples should get my lab results back Monday or Tuesday, and should get a more definite diagnosis once they do. In the meantime I've been poked and prodded by nurses and doctors who I'm starting to believe might be secret vampires with as much blood as they've demanded.

Either way there's no reason to worry about anything at this point. They're treating the symptoms until they get the full lab results back. Even then the likeliness of it being worst case scenario is slim, and even if it is worst case scenario there's no reason to believe that it wasn't caught early enough. So yeah.

I'm on this treatment that is supposed to be making me feel better, but all it does is wipe me out. And that is why I haven't been posting much this week.

Gimmie another week or two and I should be right as rain, once I get the lab results back I'll be able to update this a bit more.

Oy vay
Maddie

PS
"Are you alright, friend? You've transcended pale."

Currently watching: LaMB

Weird Weekend and Whatabuggery.

So on Thursday night, after the heavy rains of that day's morning, I felt like going out to celebrate the rain with some friends for an hour or two. I don't expect many of my readers to understand the celebration of rain, but I'll let you know that for most of the world any rain is a reason to celebrate. Anyway, it was to be an innocent two hour window in which would be the activities of conversing and relaxing. Isn't it funny how things never really pan out like we think.

When I first arrived at the bar an acquaintance (who loves my hair) was already three sheets to the wind and looming to my right talking about this and that in drunken slurs for about thirty minutes. It was kind of adorable as I knew he wasn't driving home, but then he deicided he was going to talk to a friend of a friend for me. I think he got the idea just because this friend of a friend is taller than me. I did not put him up to this, I even tried to stop him, and tried to explain that this friend of a friend already had a girlfriend and was there to do as I was there to do: to relax. After about ten minutes the acquaintance turns to me to tell me the friend of a friend has a girlfriend. Duh.

Shortly thereafter this other guy who was at the end of the bar and had been staring at me for the entire thirty minutes I was there with that creepy drunk stare guys get. He comes to my side, begins touching my arm and back to coax me into coming closer to him meanwhile I was slowly inching away. This guy was drunk, and not the cute drunk - this was an off-putting drunk. In addition he had bad teeth, a funny mouth, was a foot shorter than me, and resembled a potato. He asked me if I liked to party. "Sure," said I making a motion towards the surrounding bar, "it's a party here, everyone's having a good time."

He nodded drunkenly and turned away from me for two minutes then came back, and asked if I liked to party again. Only this time when he asked he pointed at his nose and sniffled. "No, that's not my kind of party." I said flatly looking around for one of the big fellas I might could use as a bouncer. Then the potato guy asked me if I was sure. "Yeah, I'm sure," I said and took a step away from him, "It's not my thing." He turned away from me again then turned stepped toward me and asked me to give him a 10 second party. "No." I said sternly and walked across the bar.

A minute later Chris was taking him outside, but he came back in and crossed the bar to me a few moments later. This time he took me by the elbow, and stood on his tip-toes and asked me if I would make a video for six grand. First of all, I know this guy doesn't have an extra six thousand dollars to spend on making a video, and secondly it doesn't matter how much f&#**^% money you offer me; six thousand or six million, I am not that kind of girl, and I will not become that kind of girl. All I said was, "No."

He left me alone for about an hour and that hour was okay then he stood behind me talking to someone else, but I could feel his eyes so I left.

On Friday I left my real job early as I was going to have to come in at the break of day Saturday for a meeting so I went to a cafe where I know a few people to sit and review the California Vehicle Code and the proposal for the new procedures in California. Even with myself being intently focused on the papers in front of me another short guy with bad teeth kept wanting to get my attention - even buying me a drink without asking if I was thirsty first, and then asking me to take a break long enough to talk to him. He wasn't vulgar or rude or stand-offish like the guy on thrursday night, but he definately wasn't my type- I'm not looking and I'm definately not looking for that. He became creepy after everytime I moved my eyes from the pages to rest them he was staring at me.

I then left and went down to put my few hours in at the bar for Friday night. It was a bit slow so I spent most of the time talking to one of the regulars who drinks very little and can hold a conversation about anything. I excused myself and went to the ladies room. He jokingly said he would join me. "In a different restroom." was my response. I went to the restroom and did my business. Whilst washing my hands in he walks making sure I knew he was there he then put his hands on my hips and wrapped me into a hug. I was very surprised. Not once had I ever thought about the chances of him liking me, and yes this is someone I would give a chance at getting to know if he were to ask me out on a real date, but in the 106 ladies room? No, I had stuff I needed to do, and I don't jump into hugging and rubbing unless I've been dating someone for a long time. I don't hook up in restrooms. I am a good Christian girl, and maybe my missionary/teacher parents raised me in such a way that sets me above some people, but who really wants a hook-up in a bathroom? I'm not going to mention his name as I still don't know what his intentions really are. It was a little awkward after that.

Saturday went to work, did the meeting, went home took a nap, got up headed to the bar. Was again given the stare by an older man with a white mustache and a wide fella who took up two barstools. I ended up managing to ignore them all night and somehow never had to talk to them.

After restocking the beer and what not (Which, by the way who in the hell drinks Sharps? I always have to restock the Sharps, but I nor anyone else has ever admitting to serving any. For those of you who aren't aware of Sharps-it's a low alcoholic brew made by the fine people at Miller with only .4 abv.) Anyway, after restocking the beer and leaving the bar at four in the morning I stopped at Whataburger for a whataveggie sandwich (lettuce, tomato, onion, jalapenos, pickles, mustard on a seseme seed bun), and the world's greatest hash browns. See not all burgers have meat or meat substitute in them. Anyway, the burger jockey working that night refused to make it; he just kept saying that he could put that stuff on a regular whataburger. "No meat" I said, "We don't have 'no meat'" he said. I just ordered a potato taquito instead which wasn't even wrapped up. Driving down Broadway at four in the morning whilst wrapping a taquito takes talent. Whatabuggery.

It's been a weird weekend. Here I am wanting to have some me time, and all I have is people trying to insert themselves in some fashion into my life.

Did laundry today, and went for a drive to clear my head, I just picked a direction and went. Traffic wasn't too heavy even in the city so the drive wasn't adding to stress so I kept going and going. Eventually the buildings became smaller and more spread apart, and i came upon an overpass where the streets go under the highway. When I crested the overpass I saw before me a great field of sprouting corn stalks and my heart skipped a beat just to see farmland.

It helps to be out in the open like that sometimes where there's no one for miles.

Have to work tomorrow, have other stuff to do today so I came back sooner than I would have liked.

Seriously needs to operate on my own time for a change,
Maddie

Currently hearing: America - "Tin Man"

PS
"We ain't got a 'no-meat' burger."